


The Past, Present and the Unknown.

by Tokoshui



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: I think implied sex, M/M, One Sided Love, angst I wanna say, i dont remember, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8130802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tokoshui/pseuds/Tokoshui
Summary: We love, we lose, but no matter what fate always bring those who need to come together in one spot and everything has a purpose.





	

"Come to France with me." That's all he had to say, five simple words, six if he was feeling like being polite, but couldn't bring himself to ask. He was terrified, more so now than at war even and that had been difficult- he had never seen so much blood at once or had so many guns going off, but nothing made his heart race or his palms sweat quite like this, he thought it was unfair to compare the two, but that didn't change the fact that he was absolutely petrified.  
In war the worst that can happen is that you die, in rejection well he didn't know and it added to his fear. He was afraid of being rejected, to have his heart torn apart or to have to choose between Hercules and France. In his core France is home and he a Frenchman, in comparison where English was heavy and bulky on his tongue French was light and delicate like a snowflake, he yearned to go back to his homeland and to aid his countrymen, but he had found himself unwilling to leave New York even after the celebrations had ended reasons that at the time were unknown to him, but over time he came to the realization, something that truthfully he wished he hadn't, he was in love with Hercules Mulligan. Thinking about it made his head spin. He wished he had more time to think more time to formulate a plan more time to figure things out, but he couldn't stay here forever, each day he stayed the window of morale in France dwindled and the death toll rose. He had no time for love-but than again-neither did Alexander.  
Lafayett's head was swimming and he got up to go for a stroll maybe he could clear his mind. He walked downtown downtown, going nowhere in particular, just following the masses through the streets, around corners, he allowed himself to be pushed into and out of shops. It felt good to not think and to just go.  
Soon enough he found himself in front of a small little tailor's. He recognized it as the one Hercules was currently holding his apprenticeship. He had been there many times before and he knew that the tailor shop was of great comfort to him and for all friends. The shop belong to a quaint old man whose wife had died of disease and was happy to have people call on him if just to talk while they waited for Hercules. He wanted desperately to go in and feel a sense of rightness, but he couldn't bring himself to go in, luckily for him he didn't have to, the crowd pushed him in.  
"Lafayette! How good it is to see you once again!" The old tailor says, with a bright cheery smile.  
"And to you, I must admit it's been too long." He says, always the charmer, although if he were to be quite frank he had been avoiding the place for awhile.  
"I must agree. Is there a reason you have come to visit than?" The tailor asks, half in jest.  
"I just thought I would stop in. I am trying to assemble my affairs so I may return to France and help my people. I hear things are getting worse, if that was possible." The tailor listened with fascination wether it was faux or true Lafayette knew not, but all the same he appreciated him for it.  
"Yes, of course, just know that you are welcomed here if need ever be, I'm always looking for new and willing appetences." The elder began laughing and although he was laughing the Frenchman knew that offer still stood and that it would stand until one of them died.  
"Hopefully there will be no need for that."  
"I will get Hercules for you." Although they were on good terms, the tailor knew that he was typically here for Mulligans.  
"There's really no need."  
"Nonsense!" Tailor says, going to the entrance of the workroom located more in the back. Lafayette's stomach lurched forward with dread as Hercules bounded up to him.  
"Laf! What brings you to my neck of my woods?"  
"Come to France with me." The words poured out of his mouth, without permission, without thinking and without reason. Lafayette was just as shocked as Hercules was at the words. He managed, after a moment of silence, to squeak out a small please.  
His heartbeat stopped in act everything seemed to stop and hang suspended in time and space. He let himself dare to dream, dream about waking up everyday to next to Hercules, taking strolls, cleaning the house, talking about everything and nothing and just a simple domestic life with the man, it didn't need to be big or extravagant as long as he was with him.  
"No." it was a short two letter response, but just like Icarus Lafayette was also rapidly falling. The pieces of his heart falling into the pit of his stomach.  
"No?" His voice was shaking and he felt like he couldn't stand on his own legs anymore.  
"Absolutely not. I'm sorry, but the truth is France is dying and one war is more than enough. I'm also in a good place for myself I just want to stop for a moment."  
Lafayette couldn't find his voice to explain or to say anything really. How he would love to explain how madly in love he was with him and how he just wanted him, but he couldn't even make a groan or squeak. How foolish of him!?  
"Lafayette,please don't cry." He says, pulling him into his arms.  
Lafayette sat up in his bed, a few rays of morning sun pooled through the curtain into his house. Tears slowly crept down his face . He couldn't tell if it was a dream, a memory or some hellish mixture, but it didn't matter because it still stung just as sharply now as it did all those years ago.  
He wrapped his blanket tighter over his shoulders and he had been lost in his thoughts; forgetting all about his lover asleep next to him.  
Suddenly two strong arms, one across his chest and another across his hips, pulling him back down into the bed.  
Lafayette shivered as his bare back made contact with his livers bare chest, their position made it easier for his bed partner to nuzzle into his neck although Lafayette hardly noticed already buried in his thoughts. His mind started wondering how he ended up here; in a bed with a man he didn't even care for.  
"Lafayette, where are you going?" The man asks as he wriggles from his grasp.  
"Just a stroll, I won't be long Thomas." He says giving him a quick kiss and pulling on his clothes on the ground from the night before. When they had met up in France he had only agreed because it relieved stress and it distracted him from Hercules and he supposed that things just started spiraling out of control. He wouldn't have and he hadn't accounted that his feelings for the tailor's apprentice would come rise back, but it did.  
Thomas accepted that answer and rolled over. Truth of the matter was that he didn't love the ambassador or whatever his current status currently is and he didn't believe that Jefferson had any feelings other than tolerance and lust.  
He finally understood what Hercules meant when he shut him down. He had a good standing right now, but that didn't mean he didn't want Hercules any less.  
He thought that perhaps Hamilton have some advice, after toying around with the notion, he came to a thrilling conclusion that Alexander's best advice would be for him to go get him and that he wouldn't go anywhere sitting in France. He gave out a deep sigh as he ironically looked at the sea from the pier.  
He walked along the shoreline and just existed for awhile. It was a nice change of pace it had been awhile since he had stopped to enjoy the sunny beach of France, although after awhile of bumming on the beach he got up supposing that Jefferson might have gotten a tad bit worried, not like Lafayette cared at the moment.  
Before he went home however he found a captain who would gladly escort him to Virginia as that was the best that he could do on such short notice, but he gladly agreed anyway. He didn't care that it was a spur of the moment decision, but he at least wanted to see Herc once more. He tried to write, but he was unable to find the words, he still couldn't find them, but who knows maybe he could when he had another chance.  
He didn't tell Jefferson his plans when he returned from his stroll, not like he cared. That was the thing about Jefferson he didn't care unless it directly effected him, but damn he was a good actor.  
Lafayette found himself in front of a familiar little parlor filled with the same anxiousness swelling up in his stomach. He cleared his throat, repressing the urge to knock at the shop's door before he entered.  
The same old tailor, who the Frenchman was pleasantly surprised to see alive and well, smiled as he recognized him.  
"Lafayette is that you?"  
"The one and only." He says, they met in the middle and they hugged each other, he was always on such good terms with the tailor.  
They exchanged pleasantries and chatted for a while the chatter calmed him down and he was able to ask a question a simple question although it felt like it the weight of the world.  
“What about Hercules?” The moment he had asked he regretted it, funny, because he was here because he was here for Hercules, he had just gotten so tired of whatever Jefferson considered them to be (if there was even an us to him) and he was tired of missing Mulligans, but now that he was here he was starting to question whether this was really a good idea or not. What really made him question was that there was a small portrait that hung on the wall behind the service counter, he had never seen it before and he was sure it was new and when he had asked about it earlier he had learned that it was the tailor’s grandson who was just a few years of age. The portrait had reminded him of how time goes on and nothing is guaranteed, so maybe Lafayette was just living in the past and on false hope, who was to say that Hercules didn’t fall in love with some girl and had children to provide for now? The thought had saddened him, but nothing was for certain. Maybe it was too late for him to win the other one over maybe he should just go back to Jefferson and cut his losses now.  
“He has his own little parlor on the other side of the city last I heard he was pretty successful. Also Lafayette,” He says fondly, putting an endearing hand on his shoulder. “Welcome back.”  
“It’s good to be back.” He says, giving a small appreciative smile.  
He stared at the crumpled up napkin he held in his hands, knowing full well he was at the correct address, but he was trying to brace himself for the worst. He could still leave, but he remembered something that Hamilton had said to Burr. “I don’t understand if you love this woman go get her.” It had been when Hamilton had kicked them out of the room during the reception, but Lafayette had stayed behind to curious to not know and much too drunk to have made a good judgement, but still those words rang in his ears. Different pronouns same idea.  
He took a breath before entering the parlor, it wasn’t quite like anything he had seen, it was nontraditional that was for sure, but at the same time it was completely Hercules. The interior was bright and bold, art hanging on the walls that were brightly abstract and it seemed more like an art museum than a tailor’s shop, but still he couldn’t help but be enchanted by the little place. A tiny bell had ringed when he had entered.  
“I’ll be with you in a moment.” He heard his voice boomed throughout the shop and shivers went down his spine. A voice that he nearly forgot but at the same time it was the same voice he tried to recreate within his memories every day. He waited patiently in the cluttered but organized atrium.  
“Hello, how may I help you today?” Hercules asks, not realizing that it was Lafayette standing and admiring his atrium. Sheepish and scared green eyes met sure and confident dark browns eyes, brown eyes that made Lafayette’s stomach flip around.  
“Bonjour Monsieur Mulligans.” He winks at him trying to hide his own uncertainty, it only took Hercules a moment more to recognize him, but when he did heh launched himself at him almost knocking them to the ground in a warm embrace.  
“It’s so good to see you Laf! It’s been while.” Lafayette took in everything, his scent, his warmth, the vibration in his chest when he spoke even the way those damned arms felt like when he held him.  
“That is has been.” He agrees, lingering in his embrace for perhaps too long, although Mulligans didn’t seem to mind or if he did he didn’t say anything. Hercules led him into a sitting room with mismatching overstuffed chairs. They talked about everything from tailoring business to revolutions. Honestly they could have talked about manure and Lafayette wouldn’t care as long as it was Hercules who was talking. At some point though someone had brought out some wine and they began drinking as they talked. Words and drinks: drinks and words all seemed to blur together.  
“No family?” Lafayette could hear him say, although wine was probably a major factor in him even thinking about saying it, but here he was saying such things.  
“No, Not a wife, not a child, sad right?” Hercules laughed a little, although the sad undertone wasn’t all that hard to catch and Lafayette felt bad for bringing up, it didn’t stop from the alcohol opening his mouth.  
“Non. Not at all in fact it’s perfect.”  
“Perfect, Lafayette you truly are a different breed.” He says, breaking the brief silence.  
“Funny that just what I was about to say about you.” They were silent for a little bit and Lafayette found himself staring in his cup deciding if this was his chance to open up and taking a gamble, he looked up to when he heard the soft snoring coming from Herc. He daringly kissed his check with great hesitation before downing the rest of his wine in his cup.  
He woke up with a sore neck from sleeping on the chair awkwardly. For a moment he had forgotten where he was, but then he saw Hercules on the opposite chair and it didn’t matter because they were here together and it felt as if the stars we aligned and that the heavens were singing from above. Lafayette, despite his headache and sore muscles, was happy in this moment he wandered to the kitchen intended to cook at least something.  
Hercules was not a man who typically woke up to outside forces, but as soon as he smelled cooking he was up faster than Laurens could say ‘Sam Addams’. At first he thought that someone had broken into his home or something of the such, but when he saw that it was just Lafayette he couldn’t help but to smile.  
He leaned against the archway just watching the Frenchman all about dance around his kitchen, throwing this and that around, it was actually quite amusing in Hercules’ most humble opinion. He was just content on just being there, he had not remembered when the wine was brought out or who brought it out, but it still happened.  
When Lafayette had first entered his shop Hercules didn’t even recognized him, although he could have swore he was just as gorgeous and dashing as he was when they first met as he did now. Last night felt like they were meeting again all over. It really did feel whimsical, they talked and drank and it was beautiful although their first first meeting they had been all but at each other’s throats. Oh how the times have changed!  
Sometimes Hercules had wondered what would have happened if he had joined Lafayette when he had tld him to go to France all those years ago, saying no was one of the hardest things he had to do or rather it was the thing he had regretted doing the most. Funny how those two concepts were easy to mix up.  
It was just that he was so tired of seeing blood flow from bright young men just yearning for their right to be free, tried of telling himself how it should have been him, He had gotten his absolute freedom and he had been getting his life together and in the order he had wanted. He also was in love with Lafayette and if he had given it any thought he would have thrown himself into his third war and everything he had worked for here in America to the wind.  
Even after Lafayette he was tempted to jump on the nearest ship to France, but something had stopped him every time and he was afraid that Lafayette might not have wanted him in anyway. Maybe if he had just gone with him- no if he had just gone he wouldn’t be here in day old clothing and cooking in his kitchen or maybe he was dreaming, but either way perhaps just perhaps he still had a chance with him. A rather simple thought entered his mind, just talk to him, a simple sentence, but it scared the hell out of himand that simple reason was rejection. Maybe Lafayette wasn’t interested in him. ‘Why would he?’ thought Hercules ‘I’m loud and brash I’m loud brash and irrational at times.’ He tucked these ideas and feelings away going to enter his own kitchen.  
Hercules had closed his shop for that day and everything seemed so… surreal. They had walked around downtown and to the peir, they had went out for lunch and in all reality it was tame and domestic, but he loved every second of it; they both did. They ended up on the roof of the shop, looking at the clouds as they rolled by and the sun’s slow descent.  
“Lafayette.” Hercules says, slowly, trying to father his courage. He wanted to not waste another lifetime without him again. “Close your eyes I want to try something.”  
Layfette did as he was told, a little amused by how the other had worded his request it seemed rather juvenile to him  
Thomas tapped his pen against his desk severely annoyed at the predicament he had found himself in. His lover Lafayette was missing and had been missing. He was worried and felt like the authorities weren’t doing enough to find him. He threw his head back, he knew that Lafayette was a grown man and could make his own decisions, but still he couldn’t help but think of the worst. He got up and began rifling through everything in the house once again trying to find any trace about where he had ran off to, at least that was something. Even if he couldn’t drop everything like he wanted to oh so desperately do, he could give something over. He tore apart every room of the house like he had done countless of times, flinging cabinet doors opens, tearing drawers out, scattering papers and throwing things aside.  
He crouched down looking under the bed he was just about to dismiss it finding it clean, but a piece of floor board dislodged just the slightest. He quickly pried it ajar. Papers exploded from the box, he opened up one of the letters. He felt his stomach squirm and jolt he felt like he was going to throw up. He started to go through them, each and every letter was addressed to Hercules from Lafayette, some of them were so sweet and tender, others were so lewd that he couldn’t bring himself to finish them, he felt outraged and betrayed.  
“Yvette.” He commanded one of the maids “clean this place up, I’m going to America on a short…vacation if you will.” He says, as he starts to pack and make plans for his departure. He wasn’t going to let Lafayette go without a fight.  
Lafayette felt like there was a weight that he had been lifted off of him, a weight that he had been carrying for years, it felt good. He was surprised when Herc had kissed him on the roof, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He didn’t have a solid plan yet, but that was okay he would figure it out, honestly he didn’t really want to deal with Jefferson, he would just make a mountain out of a mole hill and doubted the man even cared. He had all, but moved in with Hercules, they were going on dates and making up for lost time. If it was a dream it was one that Lafayette would never want to wake up from. So when Lafayette had walked into the parlor and saw Jefferson in the atrium of the parlor, he froze up. It wasn’t like Jefferson was ever abusive, he never hit him or put him down it was just that Jefferson was selfish and yea he was selfish, but it was a different type, it was hard for him to explain to himself.  
“Jefferson! What are you doing here I thought you were in Pairs.” He says, a little frantic.  
“Funny, I thought you were in France too, but yet here we are. Defiantly not France although I could be wrong, but mon cher, I am hardly wrong.” He says, flashing a dashing smile.  
“What do you want Jefferson?” he demanded tapping his fingers on his crossed arms.  
“I want you to come home, I miss you! I thought that someone had kidnapped you or killed you and I just want you to come home!” He says, although the words could have been read in a very begging manner, his tone was that of a command.  
“No, I am happy here with Hercules.” He says, not wanting to have this conversation, yet here he was having.  
“Than my dear lovely Gilbert, you leave me no choice.” He says, getting up, Lafayette hadn’t even noticed when Hercules had entered the room, but Jefferson did and he moved gracefully across the room.  
“Lafayette is going to come home with me, we are going to depart tomorrow.” Jefferson says, very matter of factily.  
“Like Hell you are. Lafayette is going to stay with me if he really wanted to be with you he would have gone back already.”  
“I challenge you to a duel; whoever wins gets Lafayette.” He says, very bluntly. Out of all the things Jefferson had said over the years, this made Lafayette’s blood boil. How dare he treat him like some object to be won! It’s one thing to stand up for your lover but it’s another thing to completely discard your lover’s feelings for your own selfish gain.  
“I am quite happy here and that should be the final word. I don’t need to be fought over like I am some sort of object that needs to be owned! Jefferson I think it best if you just go back France and Hercules if you agree to this duel I will doubt I will ever forgive you!” He says, he wasn’t just going to stand about and let them choose his fate for him!  
“Lafayette you don’t know what you want,” snapped Jefferson “Shall I see you at ten thirty on the hill thirty kilometers to the east? I will be more than happed to provide the doctor.”  
“No need I have my own doctor. I will see you Thomas sir.” Hercules says, practically pushing him out of the door.  
“How could you!?” Lafayette shouts enraged. He hated that this was happening and that he had told him not and he did!  
“What’s the worst that can happen?” Hercules says, moving to face Lafayette  
“You could die!” He rebuts, taking a set closer to him, the thought of a bullet in his Herc pulled at his heart, he had just gotten to be able to love Hercules and he wasn’t willing to give him up to anyone or anything including death!  
“I’m not going to die.” Another comeback and another step forward. Hercules knew that Jefferson would not hold back from shooting him, so he hoped that he would be able to shoot before he did.  
“You don’t know that! I rather die than to lose you again.” They were face to face, hardly away from each other. Lafayette was looking up at Hercules just the slightest bit. Hercules placed his hands on the other’s shoulders.  
“I am not going to die. Trust me.” Lafayette looked up at him defeat and tensed in his grasp.  
“I swear to God if you die.” He mumbled causing Hercules to chuckle the slightest.  
The sun shone brightly in the sky, Lafayette stood close by the doctor he was nervous, he wished that they could just agree with it and be over with it. He wanted to stay and no amount of bullets and gunshots would change that. He would be content with Jefferson, but he would be happy with Hercules, and besides that’s who he truly love he wished that they didn’t have to be here.  
He watched as they picked up their pistols and take their ten paces. His heart skipped a few beats and he closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me.


End file.
